40 Years In The Wilderness

1Co 3:13 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.
1Co 3:14 If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
1Co 3:15 If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

Greetings Brethren in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Before I start let me say I am giving this Word of my testimony publicly as the Lord has called me to declare his Word and share my little piece the Lord has given me with the rest of the body. Thereby no one will ever be able to say how wonderful I am, or any other blah blah blah about me. Let me be clear, this is soooooo not about me. I bring nothing apart from Christ in me and I am dead in him with my life hid with God in Christ. Praise the LORD. ...This has been a year of tribulation without a doubt. The loss of a dear friend and brother in Christ David Meyer. I knew David about 7 years and during that time I learned many things. God used David to bring forth some key pieces in the understanding of prophetic metaphor, but I also learned how easy it is to take your eyes off God and look at flesh and become lukewarm and double minded. Some of you may know the Lord led myself and a couple other brethren to start a outreach connected to LTM on Paltalk Chat Service. During that time we saw growth and the Lord blessed the effort. Soon however it began to trouble me and I did not know why exactly. I later learned it was that I had sin in the camp and was sharing the gospel in sin. David Meyer was taken ill, I myself suffered a terrible backsliding. Without a doubt these were both judgments from God.

This trial was used of God to tear down an awful strong hold where Satan got a strong hold on me when I was a child of 6 traumatizing me to the point that I developed a form of D.I.D. aka. multiple personality disorder. Now in my case this did not lead to my have an alter personality so my mind did not suffer a complete split, but many times in my life it affected my behavior and I did not understand many of my own actions. But what it did was create a compartment in my mind as a dissociative place I could escape the torment and pain and fear that came upon me as a child, where I also was cast into prison 10 days by Satan.

Rev 2:10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.

The number here in God's prophetic metaphor means the entire time of testing. Like for example:Gen 31:7 And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.

You can research it further if you would like to see more, but its clean ten is the number of testing. When I was 19 I declared myself for the Lord but was in deep bondage to Satan an bound in chains of witchcraft and sorcery and Satan had been developing this alter personality thru severe torment and the use of illicit drugs leading me to practice forbidden occult means of entering the demonic spirit realm. This grew and grew and eventually in my early 20's I encountered methamphetamine, which only enabled longer and longer periods of escape from reality in the altered state. Now I was aware of this but in deep denial and I did repent after each episode but continued to backslide over and over bringing more and more devils each time. I eventually married at 25 and had a step son and 2 beautiful biological children, a son , then a daughter. I tried desperately to maintain reality and work to provide for them, but this programmed stronghold in my subconscious mind was always pulling on me. When you get into this realm of which craft you are literally bypassing the conscious mind and engaged directly with fallen angels in the subconscious mind, also called devils or demons.

This went on for years and years with Marijuana being the link from each methamphetamine experience. I was truly in torment, but trying to keep a stiff upper lip as it were. My sin eventually found me out and committed some crimes as a result of this 20 years after becoming addicted to drugs as a teenager of 15. This ever growing strong hold destroyed my reality, and I lost the very thing that was most precious that I loved, my family. I was deceived into trading my family for a fantasy that was holding me captive in this alter part of my mind. Over the years I did try to repent thinking it was drugs etc. However I could never hold my ground and eventually after 6 months of being clean, began a backsliding that led to my almost going to prison. The Lord intervened to save my life and soul as I was out of control and headed for the grave. My precious wife also suffered much through this, and she also was tormented as a child and I believe suffered from the similar disorder and so when I hit the wall so to speak, even though I was in the system, she could not face the sin or humiliation and fear that came upon her and she insisted I divorce her.

This was a crushing blow to me as I did truly have repentance, but outside of my awareness the enemy was still working in me and I was not yet possessing the land. As I still was not delivered as I did not know where the strong hold was due to the brain function that puts an amnesic barrier around severe trauma so we an cope with reality. When my father left at age 6, I was crushed and unable to defend myself against the lies Satan told me and so I thought God abandoned me and my Dad did not love me and so I withdrew into this altered state.

During a long probation I had 4 shoulder surgeries which also caused me to gain weight and I began to have severe back spasms but did not know what the problem was at the time. The Dr.s eventually gave me Oxycotine and I became addicted. So this thing was yet again working in me only my behavior was retrained due to my fear and probation. I was compliant and thought I was out of the woods, when at the time of my probation ending the Dr. abruptly cut me off of the pain meds and I relapsed to street drugs. At this time the backsliding was so server I lost the ability to pray or talk to God which I had never experienced and it horrified me. I was utterly cut off from God and knew it. God in his infinite mercy caused me to began fasting in order to spark prayer again and assuage his wrath from me. He also afflicted another brother at one point who was laying in his bed thinking he was going to die, thank you Jesus and thank you brother.

This went on for five months, the number of death. Rev 9:5 And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.

This signifies being held captive by the powers of darkness. I was conscious of being held prisoner and could only wait on the Lord for my deliverance. While I was in trouble the Lord gave me enough faith to believe he would deliver me. Thank you Lord. At the end of this trial I was arrested by God, not breaking any law accept unlawful possession of a controlled substance. But the people I was associating with to get the drugs had caused a disruption previously at a business and the police where called and I was searched. Thank you Jesus. I was able to get out of jail with out seeing the judge as there was no crime against other people. It took another few weeks but I finally broke and repented, and when I confessed to the Lord, he moved in and tore down the entire strong hold and showed me where the devil had been playing hide and seek and he broke the back of the strong man. He also gave me much mercy as this thing came upon me as a young child but I did have to repent of that which was my own lust and sin before he moved in and ran the rest of the enemy out of the land. Thank you Jesus. I truly am in awe of God and was so thankful I could feel the cool breath and the fire I was in was removed. and the hedge of protection even the wall of fire about me, returned.....

I humbled myself and said well this is okay, I will get thru it the Lord is with me. I plead guilty to felony unlawful possession of methamphetamine, and accepted responsibility before the heavenly judge and the earthly and got a year probation. I figured I will use this to learn and not take RX meds and get in shape. 3 weeks later I went to probation to check in.

Exo 5:1 And afterward Moses and Aaron went in, and told Pharaoh, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Let my people go, that they may hold a feast unto me in the wilderness.

Then Pharaoh handed me a letter saying you do not qualify for supervision at this time..Parting of the red sea and Jordan before my very eyes. ..and I said what they don't have the man power to supervise felony drug convictions... Pharoah just glared at me thru the eyes of this woman probation officer and she stood mute and refused to answer me her countenance reflecting Satan's contempt that God check mated him in his attempt to put me back in prison, literally. I was already moving away and you could have knocked me over with a feather. This was a few days after I quit taking Rx drugs for with drawl from the other drugs and 7 days after I quit and said no more and threw the cable out of the house cutting the head of the black snake and cleaned house of any idols within or without. and turned to God Almighty with a whole heart, I received the anointing of the Holy Ghost at the end of a 10 year test literally and 27 years after becoming Christian, the number of books in the NT. If any of you think you have time for entertainment or have other idols. Jesus will not stand among them though his hand may be on your life working with you. When I received the Holy Ghost I was crying like a baby for God to help, with all the desperation I have as a human being. Thank you JESUS for my complete deliverance 40 years after being taken captive in the wilderness at six years old. I am entering the promised land and am striving to diligently hearken unto all he has commanded me to do that my days may be prolonged in the land where he brought me out of the wilderness across the Jordan , to possess. Praise the LORD our God for he is a consuming fire. I tend to be a little in personality like Peter. Not comparing to him, just his personality reminds me of me. I am learning temperance as after taking enough drugs to kill 10 elephants, I lack temperance in controlling my emotions and like Peter I tend to grab the sword and start swinging. The Lord is tempering me and helping me to crucify this and receive his correction. I love you all in Christ and would rather tell the whole truth and suffer scoffing and rejection and some embarrassment as I am chief among fools, than to be silent in pride. Thank you Jesus my Lord , my God.

Zec 13:9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.